Speeches for people who didn't ask to be up there

You said yes to the speech months ago. The wedding is in three weeks.

Answer twelve questions about your mate. Get back a speech that sounds like you wrote it — not a template, not a robot, and not the same one forty other best men gave this summer.

I've known Tom for nineteen years. In that time he has lost four phones, two passports and one entire car — and somehow found the one person who was never going to let him lose anything important again.

let it land

Most of you know Tom as the reliable one. Shows up early. Remembers your mum's name. Drives everyone home.

slow down here

I want to tell you about the Tom I met at eleven years old, who was absolutely certain you could jump off a shed roof as long as you were holding an umbrella.

Example · card 1 of 60:48 elapsed · 4:10 to go

An example opening, built from three answers: how long you've known him, one running joke, and one thing you genuinely admire. Good questions in, good speech out.

Why the free templates don't work

You've read forty sample speeches. They all say “when I first met Sarah, I knew she was the one for him.” None of them mention the time he reversed his dad's car into a hedge and blamed the dog.

That's the whole problem. The speech that works is the one only you could give, and a template can't know your stories. Neither can a generic AI prompt, unless somebody has thought hard about what to ask you.

How it works

1

Tell us about him

Twelve questions, four minutes. Real ones — how you actually met, what you tease him about, the story you'd tell at 2am that you probably can't tell in front of his grandmother.

2

Set the register

Heartfelt through to roast, on a slider. Pick a length: three minutes, five, seven. Name anything that's off limits and it won't go near it.

3

Read it back

A full draft built around your stories, in your voice. Change any of it. Most people rewrite a line or two and keep the rest.

What you get

  • The speechEditable, at the length you asked for, in the tone you chose.
  • Two alternative openingsIn case the first one doesn't sound like you.
  • Cue cardsLaid out to print, in a size you can actually read while your hands are shaking.
  • Pause markersWhere to stop and let the room laugh, and where to slow down before the serious bit.
  • A timing estimateSo you find out you're running long now, not while you're standing up.

Every other tool stops at the text. The text was never the scary part.

Price

$29$19

for the first 200 people

One payment. No subscription, no account, no app to download. You're giving one speech, not signing up for a service.

Before you ask

Will it sound like AI wrote it?

Not if you answer honestly. The speech is built out of your specifics — the hedge, the shed roof, the nickname nobody outside your group understands. Vague answers get a vague speech. That's true of human speechwriters too.

Can I change it?

All of it. It's a draft to work from, not a script to read off.

Is it safe to actually use?

It won't write jokes about exes, his drinking, or anything you'd regret hearing played back at their tenth anniversary. You can add your own no-go list on top.

What if I'm not the best man?

Best man first. Maid of honour, father of the bride and the groom's speech follow — tell us which one you need above and we'll build that one next.

You're going to write this speech eventually. It can be tonight, in four minutes — or at 1am the night before, while everyone else is still at the rehearsal dinner.

Put your name down